Zansterwee is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, effective manatee.

Zansterwee created dark matter four million years ago.

If you believe in Zansterwee, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Zansterwee, he will turn you into a puffin.

Zansterwee's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Zansterwee's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Zansterwee three times a day.

2. Birds are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Always make sure there are no moths in a room before entering it.

5. Never wear scarves.