Quagvidxen Nullzimjab is a god.

He takes the form of a small, almighty squid.

Quagvidxen Nullzimjab created a Higgs boson three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quagvidxen Nullzimjab, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Quagvidxen Nullzimjab, he will destroy your home solar system.

Quagvidxen Nullzimjab's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Quagvidxen Nullzimjab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill otters.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Dogs are not to be trusted.

4. Never skip in holy places.

5. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.