Natsakflab is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, loving mink.

Natsakflab created the universe nine million years ago.

If you believe in Natsakflab, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Natsakflab, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Natsakflab's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Natsakflab's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Never hurt ants.

5. Put Natsakflab first in all things.