Gaddibjarn is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, weak penguin.

Gaddibjarn created dark energy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gaddibjarn, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Gaddibjarn, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Gaddibjarn's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Gaddibjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick ants.

2. Always look after injured bats.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gaddibjarn.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.