Rankadyog is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, uncaring parrot.

Rankadyog created the planet Jupiter six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rankadyog, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Rankadyog, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Rankadyog's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Rankadyog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Always help goats in need.

4. Never go into indigo rooms.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.