Baptargced is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, self-assured hippopotamus.

Baptargced created humanity nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Baptargced, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Baptargced, he will try to impress you with trees.

Baptargced's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Baptargced's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate ducks.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never mention mites.

4. Do not wear platinum on your body.

5. Run away from mauve shrews, for they are unholy.