Gamgamwap Mattifyim Benrillnurl is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, able snail.

Gamgamwap Mattifyim Benrillnurl created vertebrates six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gamgamwap Mattifyim Benrillnurl, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Gamgamwap Mattifyim Benrillnurl, he will jump up and down on your head.

Gamgamwap Mattifyim Benrillnurl's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Gamgamwap Mattifyim Benrillnurl's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat cherries.

2. Always obey Gamgamwap Mattifyim Benrillnurl's priests.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

5. Never hurt grasshopers.