Hotnurlboss is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, intelligent dryad.

Hotnurlboss created the planet Saturn four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hotnurlboss, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hotnurlboss, she will turn you into a puffin.

Hotnurlboss' most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Hotnurlboss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

2. You must never eat cucumbers.

3. Do not take Hotnurlboss' name in vain.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Always look after injured mites.