Fudlopquim is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, selfish mouse.

Fudlopquim created viruses five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fudlopquim, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Fudlopquim, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Fudlopquim's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Fudlopquim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

3. Do not speak about lemons.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate ducks.