Gessmipfat is a god.
He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, tiresome
snake.
Gessmipfat created energy five thousand years ago.
If you believe in
Gessmipfat, he will look favourably on your prayers.
If you do not believe in
Gessmipfat, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.
Gessmipfat's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.
Gessmipfat's Holy Commandments1. Whales are not to be trusted.
2. Never write about cell theory.
3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.
4. Never eat strawberries.
5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.