Tarppangpang is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, tiresome warg.

Tarppangpang created the Large Magellanic Cloud eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarppangpang, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Tarppangpang, she will boil you in a big pot.

Tarppangpang's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Tarppangpang's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if four capybaras approach from the north.

2. Never mention sharks.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not wear lead on your body.