Titcebtap is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, capable mink.

Titcebtap created the Sol system four billion years ago.

If you believe in Titcebtap, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Titcebtap, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Titcebtap's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Titcebtap's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Titcebtap.

3. Never paint your back brown.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Erect a large silver sculpture of Titcebtap on top of all buildings.