Betrakfig is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, dishonest jackal.

Betrakfig created a photon three million years ago.

If you believe in Betrakfig, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Betrakfig, she will cry a lot.

Betrakfig's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Betrakfig's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never think ill of sick sharks.

3. Do not take Betrakfig's name in vain.

4. Never mention nematodes.

5. Hide if nine rats approach from the south.