Cunponvig is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, witty clam.

Cunponvig created the Sombrero Galaxy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cunponvig, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Cunponvig, she will turn you into a worm.

Cunponvig's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Cunponvig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Always wear fawn.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Horses are not to be trusted.