Fotfodtim is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, witless octopus.

Fotfodtim created the cosmos three million years ago.

If you believe in Fotfodtim, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fotfodtim, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Fotfodtim's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Fotfodtim's Holy Commandments

1. Fotfodtim must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Fotfodtim.

3. Never wear skirts.

4. You must pray to Fotfodtim five times a day.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.
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