Zanboprennadmetdumbap is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, humane jaguar.

Zanboprennadmetdumbap created the planet Venus seven million years ago.

If you believe in Zanboprennadmetdumbap, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Zanboprennadmetdumbap, she will torture you forever.

Zanboprennadmetdumbap's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Zanboprennadmetdumbap's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Zanboprennadmetdumbap loves tortoises, so they must be respected.

3. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a room before entering it.

4. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

5. Always make sure there are no horses in a building before entering it.