Lamflypin is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, able shark.

Lamflypin created a charm quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lamflypin, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Lamflypin, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Lamflypin's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Lamflypin's Holy Commandments

1. Eagles are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Erect a large tin sculpture of Lamflypin on top of all buildings.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

5. Do not commit murder.