Ominsterwikgemkipgontonkpag is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, caring gerbil.

Ominsterwikgemkipgontonkpag created light four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ominsterwikgemkipgontonkpag, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Ominsterwikgemkipgontonkpag, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Ominsterwikgemkipgontonkpag's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Ominsterwikgemkipgontonkpag's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Do not wear white clothing.

4. Never write about galaxies.

5. Never think ill of sick swans.