Tipkenmadlinhabjencin is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, sage hamster.

Tipkenmadlinhabjencin created the universe three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tipkenmadlinhabjencin, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Tipkenmadlinhabjencin, she will be mildly annoyed.

Tipkenmadlinhabjencin's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Tipkenmadlinhabjencin's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

2. Never wear skirts.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never look in ponds.