Artstafranpogpinbetjanbonk is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, competent guinea pig.

Artstafranpogpinbetjanbonk created the planet Mars nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Artstafranpogpinbetjanbonk, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Artstafranpogpinbetjanbonk, it will turn you into a rat.

Artstafranpogpinbetjanbonk's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Artstafranpogpinbetjanbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Artstafranpogpinbetjanbonk.

2. Always wear black.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never hurt birds.

5. Do not drink alcohol.