Gedtontetti is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, caring squid.

Gedtontetti created a bottom quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gedtontetti, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Gedtontetti, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Gedtontetti's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Gedtontetti's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in the presence of rats.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Gedtontetti.

3. Feed all hungry squirrels.

4. Do not shave your feet.

5. Retreat if four nematodes approach from the west.