Barnvoncad is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, cheerful dugong.

Barnvoncad created the Virgo Supercluster six billion years ago.

If you believe in Barnvoncad, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Barnvoncad, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Barnvoncad's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Barnvoncad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Barnvoncad's name in vain.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Retreat if three monkeys approach from the east.

4. Never think about amino acids.

5. Do not listen to music.