Cumzodbit is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, proud dove.

Cumzodbit created vertebrates two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cumzodbit, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Cumzodbit, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Cumzodbit's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Cumzodbit's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

3. Never mention sheep.

4. Always make sure there are no goats in a room before entering it.

5. Never jump in the presence of great tits.