Pitnanceb is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, duplicitous turtle.

Pitnanceb created the planet Earth nine million years ago.

If you believe in Pitnanceb, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Pitnanceb, it will destroy your home solar system.

Pitnanceb's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Pitnanceb's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

3. Never wear jumpers.

4. Always make sure there are no nematodes in a room before entering it.

5. Never write about nebulae.