Baddobpark is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, calm hippopotamus.

Baddobpark created life three million years ago.

If you believe in Baddobpark, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Baddobpark, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Baddobpark's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Baddobpark's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Baddobpark.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Erect eight nickel sculptures of Baddobpark on top of important buildings.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.