Gamlarplog is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, ruthless shark.

Gamlarplog created the planet Venus five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gamlarplog, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gamlarplog, it will turn you into a mole.

Gamlarplog's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Gamlarplog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Feed all hungry frogs.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Never talk about porpoises.