Matfodpit is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, egotistical aardvark.

Matfodpit created a down quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Matfodpit, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Matfodpit, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Matfodpit's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Matfodpit's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Do not speak about grapes.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never hurt ants.

5. Do not commit murder.