Vonfenzimlab is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, caring wren.

Vonfenzimlab created everything that exists three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonfenzimlab, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vonfenzimlab, he will turn you into a mouse.

Vonfenzimlab's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Vonfenzimlab's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Vonfenzimlab's priests.

2. Do not dye your hair mauve.

3. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

4. Never jump in the presence of doves.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.