Fetpidcem is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, all-knowing duck.

Fetpidcem created the Whirlpool Galaxy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Fetpidcem, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Fetpidcem, she will throw large rocks at you.

Fetpidcem's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Fetpidcem's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick tapirs.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

5. Never wear orange shorts.