Nakmumdit is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, resourceful grasshopper.

Nakmumdit created snails seven million years ago.

If you believe in Nakmumdit, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Nakmumdit, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Nakmumdit's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Nakmumdit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt porpoises.

2. Never talk about amino acids.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Nakmumdit.

5. Erect seven copper sculptures of Nakmumdit on top of important buildings.