Kemvogvon Matsighivdag is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, duplicitous swallow.

Kemvogvon Matsighivdag created dark energy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kemvogvon Matsighivdag, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Kemvogvon Matsighivdag, it will turn you into a rat.

Kemvogvon Matsighivdag's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Kemvogvon Matsighivdag's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick birds.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Never mention monkeys.

4. Always obey Kemvogvon Matsighivdag's priests.

5. Never eat spinach.