Poptomhon is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, humorless lizard.

Poptomhon created silver five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Poptomhon, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Poptomhon, it will ignore you.

Poptomhon's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Poptomhon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Poptomhon must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Never wear pink ear rings.