Wipgepxen Nulappbit is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, selfish skunk.

Wipgepxen Nulappbit created humankind six million years ago.

If you believe in Wipgepxen Nulappbit, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Wipgepxen Nulappbit, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Wipgepxen Nulappbit's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Wipgepxen Nulappbit's Holy Commandments

1. Wipgepxen Nulappbit loves dolphins, so they must be respected.

2. Do not kill bats.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Retreat if seven hamsters approach from the north.

5. Never think about comets.