Kikfitbim is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, deceitful cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Kikfitbim created snails nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kikfitbim, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Kikfitbim, he will refuse to believe in you.

Kikfitbim's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Kikfitbim's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate grasshopers.

2. Never look at stars.

3. Always treat eagles with great respect.

4. Always make sure there are no horses in a building before entering it.

5. Do not hurt cats.