Flowrakflow is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, almighty badger.

Flowrakflow created Europe seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Flowrakflow, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Flowrakflow, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Flowrakflow's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Flowrakflow's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Always look after injured pigs.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Do not take Flowrakflow's name in vain.