Xem Quamliknat is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, competent hippopotamus.

Xem Quamliknat created matter four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xem Quamliknat, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Xem Quamliknat, he will be mildly annoyed.

Xem Quamliknat's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Xem Quamliknat's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Mice are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never think about stars.

4. Do not trade with those who eat limes.

5. Erect a large gold sculpture of Xem Quamliknat on top of all buildings.