Pinwanstaf is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, compassionate lizard.

Pinwanstaf created the Sol system nine million years ago.

If you believe in Pinwanstaf, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Pinwanstaf, it will turn you into a tree.

Pinwanstaf's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Pinwanstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Always help dolphins.

3. Never paint your back gray.

4. Never feed aubergines to horses while wearing mauve shorts.

5. Do not eat parsnips.