Japzedsag is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, boastful troll.

Japzedsag created bats two years ago.

If you believe in Japzedsag, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Japzedsag, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Japzedsag's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Japzedsag's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate nematodes.

2. Always obey Japzedsag's priests.

3. Never think about cell theory.

4. Retreat if eight doves approach from the west.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.