Homtigparkgen is a god.

It takes the form of a small, witless penguin.

Homtigparkgen created the Sun two billion years ago.

If you believe in Homtigparkgen, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Homtigparkgen, it will turn you into a worm.

Homtigparkgen's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Homtigparkgen's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about snakes.

2. Never talk about gravity.

3. Homtigparkgen loves dolphins, so they must be respected.

4. Do not hurt tortoises.

5. Retreat if seven rats approach from the north.