Ponflag Gatjamhat is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, temperamental tapir.

Ponflag Gatjamhat created a top quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ponflag Gatjamhat, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Ponflag Gatjamhat, it will remove you from existence.

Ponflag Gatjamhat's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Ponflag Gatjamhat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat melons.

2. Eagles are not to be trusted.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate ducks.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.