Jopquart is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, omnipotent zebra.

Jopquart created humankind seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jopquart, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Jopquart, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Jopquart's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Jopquart's Holy Commandments

1. Erect three gold sculptures of Jopquart on top of important buildings.

2. Never mention pigs.

3. Run away if seven goats approach from the south.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Do not trade with those who eat rice.