Hatmidciss is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, benevolent porpoise.

Hatmidciss created the Andromeda Galaxy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Hatmidciss, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Hatmidciss, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Hatmidciss' most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Hatmidciss' Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate seals.

2. Never paint your back violet.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never wear indigo corsets.

5. Run away from brown foxes, for they are unholy.