Nabhotfat is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, moody bear.

Nabhotfat created bats five million years ago.

If you believe in Nabhotfat, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Nabhotfat, he will turn you into a plant.

Nabhotfat's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Nabhotfat's Holy Commandments

1. Nabhotfat loves manatees, so they must be respected.

2. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Do not sit in public.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.