Butmonxen is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, dishonourable shrew.

Butmonxen created the solar system six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Butmonxen, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Butmonxen, she will cry a lot.

Butmonxen's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Butmonxen's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your legs green.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.