Stragcamarf is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, astonishing pig.

Stragcamarf created the planet Earth two million years ago.

If you believe in Stragcamarf, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Stragcamarf, he will turn you into a hamster.

Stragcamarf's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Stragcamarf's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never think about amino acids.

3. Never hurt turtles.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Always help bats.