Bemrullhug Vegbonrul is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, caring crow.

Bemrullhug Vegbonrul created Africa nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Bemrullhug Vegbonrul, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Bemrullhug Vegbonrul, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Bemrullhug Vegbonrul's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Bemrullhug Vegbonrul's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never paint your legs mauve.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

4. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.