Satladnurldab is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, tiresome squirrel.

Satladnurldab created a top quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Satladnurldab, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Satladnurldab, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Satladnurldab's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Satladnurldab's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Erect a large silver sculpture of Satladnurldab on top of all buildings.

3. Never skip in holy places.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate goats.