Xucktonkcum is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, vain fairy.

Xucktonkcum created a charm quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Xucktonkcum, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Xucktonkcum, it will turn you into a puffin.

Xucktonkcum's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Xucktonkcum's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick geese.

2. Never skip in the presence of dogs.

3. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Xucktonkcum on top of all buildings.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.