Cetnillsawcad is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, pitiless monkey.

Cetnillsawcad created the Sol system nine million years ago.

If you believe in Cetnillsawcad, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Cetnillsawcad, it will not care.

Cetnillsawcad's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Cetnillsawcad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Never wear jumpers.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.