Hugruttpan is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, conceited snake.

Hugruttpan created a quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hugruttpan, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Hugruttpan, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Hugruttpan's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Hugruttpan's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce near sheep.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Hugruttpan.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Hugruttpan loves voles, so they must be respected.